Momentum For Monday, September 16th 2024

“So you see, our love for him comes as a result of his loving us first.” (1 John 4:19)

One of the biggest challenges to improving my mental health was my own personal failures. I struggled so badly with regret from my choices that I had come to hate myself. At my worst, suicide became tempting.

I didn't know to recover. I didn't know how to get through it. Actually, I didn't know if that was even a possibility. The thoughts going through my mind just wouldn't stop. The guilt became too much, but there was nothing I could do.

Listen, this isn't something that happened before I was saved. I knew Jesus and had been in church for years at this point. I’d even known the presence of God very well. In fact, I'd been training in ministry for years when my worst failures occurred. Because of this, it added to the mounting regret and guilt I experienced. "I knew better than to do this." But honestly, I truly didn't, though it didn't change or excuse anything.

What got me through had to be an abstract miracle I would never consider or expect. A radical encounter with the love of God was the only thing that brought me out of it. Sitting in church, I heard God loved me so many times before, but on a random Sunday listening to yet another sermon, those words hit my ears differently. I froze this time. My heart became overwhelmed by the grace and love of God for me after I royally messed up.

I still hated myself. This time I just knew God didn't. Knowing that helped me get through it though. Some days it's still a struggle, but the grace of God is bigger. God did what I couldn’t do.

It's hard for us to embrace this type of love. People still struggle to grasp that God would love and forgive so freely, even to the worst person. Maybe it's because they've never realized their own forgiveness.

I don’t know if you can relate to my experience, but if you can, I just want to remind you that God doesn’t just love you, but he likes you too. He can do what you cannot do in your life. Hang in there and don’t quit. Give him the time to resurrect and redeem you.

“I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.”

(Luke 7:47)